Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got home. Then I made another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street.
After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious satisfaction -- watching the two *******s kicking the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life .
The story you have just read is true - but the names have been changed.