He motioned to his nearby advisers, who immediately contacted the finest architects in Brazil to consult on the project. In exchange for several tons of gold, the architects designed an identical residence and brought in several construction companies to begin work immediately. They brought in solar panels and hydroelectric units to power the buildings. Paying triple the usual rate, the king had land cleared and construction completed within days. It was some real Extreme Makeover: Home Edition shit.
Dumbfounded and a bit concerned, as she still had no desire to remain in the rain-forest for the rest of her life, the woman went before the king with her final request, determined to come up with something that no amount of money could provide. “Tell the king that the man I marry must have a penis that’s 12 inches long.”
Looking horrified, King Paolo arose from his throne and strode around the room muttering to himself, first angrily and then sadly. He seemed to be thinking desperately, searching for options. But finally, he shook his head sadly, and spoke in a tone of resignation:
“Okay, okay. I cut. I cut.”