“So, I opened the closet, but I figured that was probably the first place he would look, so I didn’t hide there.
Then I looked under the bed, but no, I figured he’s bound to look there, too.
By now, I could hear the key in the lock.
I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and was hanging there by my fingers, praying that the guy wouldn’t see me.”
The bartender says “Well I can see how you might be a bit frustrated at this point.”
“Well, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out, ‘Who you been with now, you witch?’ The girl says, ‘Nobody, honey, now calm down.'”
Well, the guy starts tearing up the room.
I hear him tear the door off the closet and throw it across the room.
I’m thinking, ‘Boy, I’m glad I didn’t hide in there.’
Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room.
Good thing I didn’t hide under there either.
Then I heard him say, ‘What’s that over there by the window?’ I think, ‘Oh God, I’m dead meat now.’
But, the blonde by now is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to stop looking.
Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom and I hear water running for a long time; I figure maybe he’s gonna take a bath or something, when all of a sudden, the jerk pours a pitcher of scalding hot water out of the window right on top of my head.
I mean, look at this, I got second degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders!”
The bartender says, “Oh man, that would have gotten me mad for sure.”
“No, that didn’t really bother me. Next, the guy starts slamming the window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers.
They’re a bloody mess. I can hardly hold onto this glass.”
The bartender looks at the guy’s hands and says, “Yeah, buddy, I can understand why you are so upset.”
“No, that wasn’t what really got me so angry though.”
The bartender then asks in exasperation, “Well, then, what did finally make you anger?”
“Well, I was hanging on the window, and I turned around and looked down–I was only about six inches off the ground.”