It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend Stacy, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice.
However, I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, and punk clothes.
Also, she is so much older than me.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad.
She’s pregnant Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter we share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.