Roof Bear
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A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
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So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there's an ad for "Alberta Bear Removers." He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
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The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.
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"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.