82 year old Ernie is on his death bed with his wife Doris by his side:
He says,
'Dear Doris, when we were first courting in our prime at 22, I slipped off my roller skates and broke my collar bone.
And Doris, you were there by my side to comfort me.
Doris, when we went out for our anniversary meal at the age of 32, I got food poisoning and you were there by my side.
Doris, when I was 37 you were there by my side when I crashed the car into a lamp post and you comforted me and looked after me.
Doris, when I was 42 do you remember when I was cleaning the windows and fell off the ladder only to break my wrist, you were there by my side.
Doris, when I was 44 you were there when I was given the horrible news of my sister's death, again you were there, by my side.
Doris when I was 54 and was diagnosed with prostate cancer, you were there by my side.
Doris, when I was 63 and was given the all clear from prostate cancer I came down with pneumonia and you were there, by my side.
Doris, when I was 69 and started to get the awful pain that arthritis brings, you were there by my side.
Doris, when I was 74 and slipped over on the icey path only to break my ankle, you were there by my side.
Doris, I am now 82 and on my death bed....
Doris, your nothing but a f**king jinx.