One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed.
We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”
“You’re just not in touch enough with my emotional needs as a woman, for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She saw my puzzled look and said, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I decided to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her “we’ll just buy them all”.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”She was almost nearing ecstatic satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??!!!”
Then I said, “Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man, for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”